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SCP-5596 Unknown ~ medium confidence
SCP-5596
Expected annual
$923K
One-time setup
$1.6M
Annual recurring
$890K
Personnel
8.5
First-year (one-time + recurring) containment and mitigation costs are dominated by contingency/liability reserves and acquisition/containment funds, with ongoing annual costs driven primarily by staff wages (security and research) and incident readiness/monitoring. Total one-time costs are sizable due to reserve funds and acquisition budgets; annual recurring costs are ~ $890k driven by personnel and monitoring.
🏗️ One-Time Capital Costs Total: $1.6M
Contingency Emergency Research Fund $625K
[#21] One-time rapid-response analytic/contractor reserve for scale-up experiments or crisis response.
Liability Reserve $600K
[#22] One-time insurance-equivalent reserve for unexpected legal judgments, public exposures, or long-term payouts.
Facilities $160K
[#1, #2] Site-322 standard storage retrofit and low-security humanoid cell buildout (shelving/retrofit, lockable storage, coin-slot disabling/EMP-hardening, single-person cell construction and furnishings).
Research Acquisition Fund $150K
[#16] One-time acquisition fund to locate and purchase similar 'love tester' devices from auctions/collectors for containment/forensics.
Initial Coverup Takedown $62K
[#12] One-time public relations / platform takedown and legal outreach to remove SCP-5596-1's public media presence and replace with cover narratives.
Equipment $23K
[#8, #19] Surveillance/CCTV/tamper sensors, coin-slot use detector, secure write-once media and field non-lethal/retrieval kit purchase.
Initial Research And Lab Setup $6K
[#23] Initial archival/cataloging, high-quality photography, item history research and secure indexation into internal databases.
Training And Sop Development $5K
[#18] One-time creation of SOP materials and initial staff training package to prevent staff misuse and define emergency protocols.
🔄 Annual Recurring Costs Total: $890K/yr
Staff Wages $580K/yr
[#4, #5] Dedicated security personnel (6 FTE guards for 24/7 coverage) and research staff (1–2 FTE researchers + 0.5 FTE admin overhead).
Cover Story And Legal $100K/yr
[#15, #13] Recurring legal & ethics counsel and ongoing online monitoring/content suppression to maintain cover narratives and manage platform/legal issues.
Logistics And Transport $94K/yr
[#7, #14, #20] Incident response/MTF on-call budget reserve, witness management & relocation annual fund, and armored vehicle lease/availability costs.
Research And Monitoring $86K/yr
[#6, #9, #17, #24] Ongoing psychology/medical care for SCP-5596-1, secure data storage and forensic servers, digital/antiquities monitoring subscription elements, and annual audit/compliance reviews.
Supplies And Consumables $21K/yr
[#10, #11, #25] Consumables and routine maintenance for SCP-5596 (bulbs, parts), amnestic/memetic countermeasure administration reserve, and miscellaneous petty operating budget.
Facilities Maintenance $9K/yr
[#3] Utilities, HVAC, electricity, water, cleaning, minor repairs and amortized capital replacement for the humanoid cell and storage.
⚡ Cost Scenarios
📊 Baseline (baseline) $890K/yr
83.0% probability / year
Normal year with no major incidents; routine operations, monitoring, and staff salaries only.
no teleportation events requiring major deployment routine monitoring and retention only
🚨 Minor Incident $950K/yr
15.0% probability / year +$60K vs baseline
Occasional teleportation to a civilian location requiring modest field deployment, amnestic use, witness relocation and PR surge.
single teleportation outside site small MTF deployment and amnestic administration targeted witness relocation and localized PR takedown
🚨 Major Breach $2.1M/yr
2.0% probability / year +$1.2M vs baseline
Large-scale public exposure or multiple simultaneous teleportations resulting in extensive deployments, legal settlements, contingency research activation, and potential use of liability/contingency reserves.
public viral exposure of SCP-5596/SCP-5596-1 multiple teleportation incidents or failed containment major legal actions or large-scale relocation effort
👥 Personnel 8.5 total
Role Count Notes
Security Officer / MTF Agent 6 [#4] Six FTE guards to cover three daily shifts for 24/7 on-site coverage.
Research Scientist 2 [#5] One-to-two full-time researchers assigned to classification, testing and experiments (using midpoint staffing).
Administrative Staff 0.5 [#5] 0.5 FTE administrative overhead included in research personnel estimate for paperwork and coordination.
📋 Confidence Notes
Analyst notes provide line-item estimates and clear cost drivers (personnel, reserves, PR). However ranges are broad for major reserve funds and incident frequency is uncertain due to anomalous teleportation behavior, so overall confidence is medium.
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